


Don't Leave Me, Vhenan

by ClassyNerd



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Feels, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-29 01:39:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3877489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClassyNerd/pseuds/ClassyNerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"No!" I yelled as I saw the old ruins falling upon the Inquisitor. "It's too late Solas, you'll get yourself killed if you try to rescue her!" Varric yelled as he grabbed my arm, yanking me back. I watched helplessly as the rocks fell upon my beloved, unable to save her from that horrible fate.</p><p>The battle was won that day. But my heart was lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Leave Me, Vhenan

"No!" I yelled as I saw the old ruins falling upon the Inquisitor. "It's too late Solas, you'll get yourself killed if you try to rescue her!" Varric yelled as he grabbed my arm, yanking me back. I watched helplessly as the rocks fell upon my beloved, unable to save her from that horrible fate. I shrugged my arm free from Varric's grasp, fade-stepping towards the pile of rubble. Holding out my hand, I blasted the pile of rocks away. She was lying underneath, her eyes closed. Dirt covered her body, and she looked fine except for the trickle of blood running from her lips. I jumped down, blood rushing through my veins as my heart beat wildly within my chest. "Vhenan," I whispered as I fell to my knees. "Your safe, your with me." Gently I placed her head on my lap. Her grey eyes fluttered open.  
  
"Solas . . ." She rasped, then started coughing. More blood flowed from her mouth. She'll be fine, she'll be fine, I repeated to myself.   
  
"Don't speak," I said softly. My hands glowed with healing magic. I closed my eyes, urging my waning mana to last. Something, someone, touched my arm, and I opened my eyes to see her hand there. "Solas, it's too late. I'm dying." I could not tear my eyes away from hers, the way she stared into my own so calmly, so assuredly. She was not afraid.  
  
"No! I  _cannot_  except that. You will be fine, ma vhenan." She could not do this, could not leave me when we had our whole lives ahead of us.  
  
"It's alright, ma'vhenan. Ar lath ma." She dissolved into another coughing fit. Time froze as I desperately tried to heal her lungs that were failing her broken body. Her lungs rasped out her last breaths.   
  
"No! Vhenan, hold on!" I pleaded desperately, sparks of magic numbing her pain that ached in her bones.  
  
"I'm sorry." She coughed.  
  
"Please, I  _love_  you. Don't-"  
  
"Hush," she said gently. "It's alright Solas, it's alright."   
  
Her eyelashes fluttered shut.  
  
"No no no no no no no!" I yelled as I gathered her lifeless form to my chest. Tears stung my eyes, the world blurring before me. "Don't leave me vhenan, don't leave me!" I kissed her hair blindly as I pleaded. Lifting my head to the heavens, I let out a roar of pain that cannot be expressed in words.  
  
"No," a soft, broken voice said from above me. Looking through my curtain of tears, I see Dorian. Tears run down his own face. I look down at my vhenan's body in my arms.   
  
"Solas," a hand touched my bowed shoulders. "We need to get her out of here." Varric's voice was full of emotion, but he was trying to keep it together. For my sake. For hers.  
  
I nodded slowly, not really understanding in the wake of my grief. "Solas, let me-" Dorian began to say. "No, I'll carry her." I said as I gently picked her weightless body into my arms. Her hair flowed free from it's pins, the crimson silk spreading across my arms. She was mine to carry. She always was and always will be.   
  
We picked our way across the battlefield, arriving at Skyhold with the fallen Inquisitor. There were no shouts of victory that day.  
  
The battle was won that day. But my heart was lost.  
  
***  
  
Five days later I stood in a room, standing over her. She was laid upon a bed, dressed for her funeral. I didn't let anyone else prepare her. She would have wanted me to do it. So I did.   
  
It was harder then I expected. I knew it would pierce my soul to wash the blood off her cheeks, run my hands through her hair for the last time. She wore a red elven gown that she wanted to wear to our wedding. Or so she joked. In my heart I knew it would not happen. She did not even know my true identity. And now she would never know. Silver leafs were threaded throughout her hair, and a simple necklace graced her throat. Her sword was laid between her hands that laid on her stomach. It was foolish, and I was blind in the days following her death, but I hoped that somehow she'd breath again as I kept my vigil.   
  
She did not.  
  
"Solas, it's time." Varric said as he came in to stand beside me. I nodded, not really listening. When they took her away, that meant I'd never see her again. My heart couldn't even bear that. "I'm so sorry. This shit shouldn't have happened. To her, of all people." He laid a hand on my shoulder. "I know you may not have had friends before, Chuckles. But you have us. We'll be here for you, just as we were for her." I looked at him in surprise. No one had offered that to me before. All I had learned from friendship was that there was none-no one could be trusted. But I was wrong.  
  
"Thank you, child of the stone."   
  
"I'll let you say goodbye. I've said mine." His voice almost broke as he spoke, and he hurried out of the room. I turned back to her. Her face rested peacefully, a smile playing on her cold lips. I leaned forward, placing one last kiss upon her mouth. Leaning my forehead against hers, I whispered, "I will never forget you, ma'vhenan. Ar lath ma, bellanaris." Backing away, Cullen and his guards came in. He was taking over the Inquisition, and had prepared a funeral in her honor. They laid her upon a stretcher that was ornately decorated. Heaving a pole upon each of their shoulders, the guards lifted her above them and she arose over the people for one last time. They followed Cullen outside to the waiting crowd. I slowly followed as well, watching over her as is my duty.  
  
Crowds that had gathered to Skyhold reverently bowed as she passed. The procession filed outside the gates of Skyhold, across the bridge, and over to a mountain rise where a pyre waited to be lit. The very place we stood as I showed her Skyhold for the first time, watching her figure run down the mountainside towards the fortress. For a moment I lost myself in the memory that I could see in my minds eye perfectly. Her voice, her smile, her laugh. Now it's gone, left to be an echo in my dreams. They laid her upon the pyre, and I beheld my beloved's face for one last time. Cullen turned towards the group.  
  
"You all know why we're here. Most of you did not know the Inquisitor, or call her by name, but know this: she died to save the world from Corypheus, and she would do so again. She was a woman of honor. And she will never be forgotten." He walked towards a guard to retrieve a torch. But I couldn't let him do that.  
  
"Wait! I wish to throw the torch," I said, stepping from among the crowd. I spoke to him, but my eyes still rested upon her. "As you wish Solas," he said with a bow of his head.   
  
"If your going to do this Solas, I'm going to too." Varric said. "And me," Dorian said, "she would expect us too, wouldn't she?"  
  
"Yeah, and if we don't she may damn us from up there once we piss off." Sera added, as she too stepped from among the crowd.   
  
"I agree," Bull said, doing the same.  
  
"As do I," Blackwall said.  
  
"She's at peace now, she wanted this. I want to ease her passing, help her. Help me." Cole said as he appeared beside me. I stared at them all, realizing that they all had become fast friends without my notice. Excluding Vivienne.  
  
"I believe she'd want us all doing this," Josephine said, her eyes shining with unshed tears.   
  
"Very well. Out of respect I will do this." Vivienne said, the crowd parting a little as she walked over to the growing group.  
  
"This will be my way of saying farewell." Leliana said as she joined us. Cassandra nodded as well, not saying anything as she walked over; her face a mask of hidden emotions.  
  
"Then, if we're all doing this, we throw it at the same time." Cullen said, passing out torches to everyone. We circled around her. At Cullen's nod, we threw the torches. As I let it go, I watched numbly as the flames licked at the wood.   
  
"Ar lasa mala revas," I whispered.   
  
Her hair shone as bright as the flames that sparked into the night sky. I stood and watched, longer than the others. After all that was left was a smolder of flame, I turned and ran. I couldn't handle it, couldn't handle losing her when it was I who should have died. I ran blindly, transforming into a wolf. Cresting the top of the mountain, I looked down at the soft orange glow that was all that remained.  
  
Looking up at the moon, I howled into the night sky as it's light shone upon me. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is taking place after the battle with Corypheus, when all that lovely rubble is falling everywhere.  
> Anyhow, hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading!
> 
> Elvish I used:  
> Ma'vhenan~My heart.  
> Vhenan~Heart.  
> Ar lath ma~I love you.  
> Ar lath ma, bellanaris~I love you, (for) eternity.   
> Ar lasa mala revas~You are (now) free.


End file.
